I’m shy when it comes to talking to girls, what are some good pick up lines? – Bashful

Bashful,

“Do you know what my shirt’s made of? Boyfriend material.” “My doctor says I’m lacking vitamin you!” Let’s be honest, you’ll probably just get slapped in the face, a mean look, or just laughed at if you ever tried to use one of these pickup lines. But, there’s hope. First, let’s think about the lines. They could be innocuous “Hey how’s it going? My name is Bashful;” direct “I’m not the type to do this, but you look really good…” or corny, like the shirt or vitamin examples. A common finding is that innocuous and/or direct lines work better than the corny ones. A couple other factors come into play: the person’s “ego depletion,” which has to do with how much self-control they’ve had to show that day, and whether they are looking for a short-term encounter versus a long-term commitment.

Lewandowski and colleagues (2012) found that women are more receptive to being approached when they are tired of using self-control than when they haven’t had to use self-control recently, and this effect is stronger for innocuous lines than with the other types. When it comes to the duration of relationship a woman is looking for, Senko and Fyffe (2010) figured that out if it’s a fling, pickup lines in general don’t work unless you’re physically attractive, but if she’s looking for long-term commitment, innocuous or direct lines are more effective than corny ones. Women see men who use them as more trustworthy and intelligent.

So, next time you’re on the prowl, think about situations where you could find women tired of using self-control (maybe near the start of the year when everyone’s still sticking to their New Year’s resolutions?) and thinking about long-term commitments (Valentine’s Day, much?) Then, go with the basics of conversation 101. It’s a lost art but give it a shot.