Horny Hornets

Girls: Here’s How Other Women Avoid Bad Hook-Ups

Rachel Levy, Staff Writer

We’ve all had at least one hook-up we’ll never forget, but for all the wrong reasons. Maybe he was lazy. Maybe he was too small – or even too big (yes, this could happen). Perhaps he didn’t know his way around, or the condom just wouldn’t stay on. With about a hundred million sexual acts every day, something is bound to go wrong. Since 72 percent of women have reported their partner not helping them finish, it’s obvious that men aren’t in it for us, girls, and we don’t need to stand for faking orgasms like 67 percent of women regularly do. We need to take a stand and demand the best. To be prepared for next time the sex falls short (we’re in college; there will be a next time), here’s my advice for getting any bad hook-up over and done with quickly.

In a study by Panadol, it was found that nearly 40 percent of women have used their period as an excuse to get out of sex. Whether it’s true or a little white lie, this trick never fails. No matter the situation, a guy will be too stunned to do anything. They don’t have period – and they don’t understand how it works – so they’ll never know the truth.

My personal tips include crying (do guys ever know what to do when a girl cries? Nope, never), and even just walking out (if you don’t mind hurting his feelings). You could take the nice route for this one and make up an excuse for why you need to leave – it’s just a little lie. If you’re living at home, you can say you have a curfew, but most hook ups are at college parties, so that’s not always easy. Just get a little creative with your lie and get the hell out of there. It’s time we girls get what we deserve in the bedroom – he’ll get over it.

Bad hook-ups have been happening since the 1920’s. Some guys can talk the talk, but that’s all they’re good for, they don’t bring it to the bedroom. We women have been dealing with the same problems for almost a century, but that just makes us more creative at getting out of it. So girls: no more faking orgasms: next time you think you’re stuck in a dud’s bed, remember some of these tricks and get out of there.

2 replies »

  1. Wow! It is absurd that such a prestigious and private university would promote inappropriate sexual behavior. Do you, young college women, have no self respect for yourself and your body? Why not also discuss the high number statistics of rape in college campuses or STDs. How can you put yourself at risk and trust the Internet to find a date or hookup on Tinder? Sounds creepy and irresponsible. Let’s create strong sense of self and protect our bodies. Instead of being horny hornets, be responsible hornets!

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    • Thanks for your comment! We have articles about safe sex, consent, and sexual education on the way in this column. We hope you are interested in reading them when they are released!

      As a quick note, The Doah is not representative of the views of Shenandoah University as an institution; we are by students, for students! Thanks again for reading!

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