Hook-up Culture at SU
Rachel Levy, Staff Writer
Last issue, we started talking about every college kid’s favorite topic: sex! We dove into hook-up culture for women in their college years, so now let’s dive deeper into that about how men feel about 72 percent not orgasming during sexual encounters. Although some men seem to think so – and girls are taught this from a young age – us women are not actually put here just to help men reach orgasm. If we got you to orgasm, return the favor. (Although, this works both ways, girls – you shouldn’t be leaving a guy out to dry with blue balls.)
From an early age, girls are made to think sex is just a guy coming. While that does happen during sex, the act is not just a man putting his penis in a girl and coming – it comes in many different forms to many different people. Sex should be something passionate and intimate shared between two people (or more if you’re into that), where everyone gets to climax. Television and movies show hook-up culture in all the wrong light; teens don’t learn what having sex is really all about. This isn’t their fault though, with sexual education only being required in 22 states (18 of which preach abstinence-only), and medical accuracy in sex ed only being required in 13. Technically, high schoolers in the other 37 states could be learning that they could get pregnant from a blowjob (many actually believe this).
In hopes that our school defies these statistics, I went around campus last week, looking to learn about the hook-up culture is at SU, and discover how students view sex.
It seems that our fears about adolescent sex ed are true: many on campus said when they were younger, they never learned about girls coming – it was only talked about that guys would. Starting in middle school, girls always heard about guys “getting their dick sucked, but girls nothing.” Since an early age, women have felt most of the pressure when it comes to hooking up.
But have we grown since then?
After asking students, I’ve learned that the answer is really defined by your relationship status. Congrats SU boyfriends (especially a certain men’s team), your girlfriends seem to think you’re doing something right. Most of the girls on campus that orgasm regularly are in a relationship, and many girls I talked with had their first orgasm with their current boyfriend. But there is a large orgasm gap between girls in relationships and single girls; taken girls were about four times more likely to have an orgasm regularly than single girls.
Single guys confirmed the women’s reports. Most said that if it’s just a hook-up, they wouldn’t be likely to help the girl finish after them, or reciprocate oral. One boy even said he prefers not to reciprocate. They reported that their efforts depend on the girl, but unless they’re in a relationship, they have little motivation to help us out. Many single guys even admitted to falling asleep right after being pleasured instead of helping the girl. It appears that even SU guys hooking up at parties don’t really care to pleasure the girl – they just want to bust a nut and get out. Campus women were especially angry to report that, more often than not, the boys are telling the truth: our campus men refuse to give oral after receiving it.
While guys are more likely to pleasure a girl as they get older, for the many students on campus still just hooking up at parties, the guys are still in it for themselves. I’m not going to discount all the guys, because there are some that always help the girl, but this shouldn’t start twenty years into life. These should be conversations had when kids start having sexual relations (that’s pretty young nowadays). Health class shouldn’t just talk about guys coming and saying the only safe sex is abstinence (when was the last time that line worked?). Furthermore, parents should let their kids know it’s a two way street, just like respect, and what you give is what you get. Whoever you are, whatever relationship status, sexual orientation, or gender, make sure you’re getting the pleasure you deserve, and giving what your partner deserves.